Who's Teaching Who? Life with a teenager

Those of us with teens know how challenging - at times - these years can be for both parties; two days ago I made a silent promise to myself to go on a negativity diet - no more focusing only on the messy room, the wet towels on the floor, the constant stupid BBM chimes or even the occasional smartass comments. I decided that even if she did or said 100 "negative" things and only 1 positive, I was gonna focus on the positive. I began to thank her for any and every little thing. And yes, at times I really had to reach to do this. "Thank you darling for putting your dishes in the sink (well, NEAR the sink) and not on your floor; "Thank you honey for helping with the laundry"; "Thanks for being nice to your sister"; and so on. Remember, the "diet" began just two days ago. Last night I went out with a friend and came in around 11:00. Went to the kitchen, opened the fridge and shrieked - OMG who put this ginormous Cadbury Fruit & Nut bar ( my absolute favorite) in here?? Then shrieked again - OMG who put this tub of Haagen-Dazs Rum & Raisin (another fav) ice cream in the freezer? My teen's casual voice floated in from the patio - "Those are for you Ma, I know you like that stuff." Moral of this story - at times I suck at this parenting shit and hate it, but when I let go and allow the divine to be my guide - oh how sweet it is! In life,you really do get back what you give out.

Solve the Mystery of Your True Self by Guy Finley

Each and every event in our life brings with it a kind of gift just for us, providing we know how to receive it. This priceless offer isn't about ways to empower ourselves through possessions or greater position in life; it is presented to us to help free us from the stress and worry born of the false belief that we need such riches to realize the timeless value of ourselves.

What is this gift yet claimed? What power can we hope to know that can make all of life's moments golden? Don't let either the simplicity or the familiarity of the following answer keep you from realizing its unimaginable promise: perfect Love casts out fear.

Why does perfect Love cast out fear along with all of its self-compromising conditions? Because much in the same way as it is impossible for a shadow to live in the light, such a love ensures that dark divisive states such as fear, anxiety, and depression cannot dwell in its presence. Our task, should we wish to walk through life with such a fierce advocate by our side, is to awaken ourselves to the fact of its presence as a power already within us. Discovering "where" this Treasure of treasures is found -- and how to make ourselves one with it -- that's the question! Now, let's find some real answers.

We can all see that life is a mystery. What remains unseen is how to solve it. But before we can ever hope to "solve" this enigmatic puzzle that we call our life, we must have all the pieces on the table; and there is one "piece" to this puzzle most never find because this missing piece is our life itself!

Life -- this moment and every moment -- is a school for the education of the soul. At its heart is an invisible core curriculum, a kind of celestial "program" with one great purpose: to help us realize that behind each of the life-lessons that comes our way dwells a divine, just, and loving Intelligence that wants us to be one with its life.

Imagine how different life would be if we understood that nothing happens to us that isn't sent our way to help us learn more about the eternal nature of Love. With such a realization we would know that whatever takes place in our life has not come as something set against our best interests, but to help us realize them!

What prohibits us from awakening to this essential relationship and realizing its power as our own? In a word: resistance. We see life through the eyes of a part of us that instantly opposes whatever challenges its idea about the meaning of life and what's "best" for us in it. This false self refuses or denies anything that threatens the flattering image it has of itself. All in all, the negative effect of our unconscious condition can be stated like this:

We have become lesson-intolerant.

Nothing that resists life can learn from it, and without higher self-discovery there is no hope of recovering our real relationship -- our oneness -- with God's life.

The following insight helps us see why our false self resists the "touch" of reality upon it: Real learning requires subordination to that which would teach us. If our teacher isn't someone or something greater than ourselves in the moment, then what have we to learn from that teacher? So, it is not we who masters a principle. It is we who must surrender to it if we wish to learn its ways -- if our wish is oneness with its mastery. Only in this way does that principle lends us the power that lives behind it so that we may embody its life. We must yield to what is above us. The amazing thing is that what lives "above" us, loves us and actually wants us know its power as our own.

Just as Christ washed the feet of his disciples, there is an eternal relationship between the greater and the lesser; but because the greater is continually giving itself to the lesser, the lesser is always made greater if it will surrender to what the greater wants to give it. Each time the lesser becomes the greater, then it understands the greater work, and will give itself again. This is Love. It never stops, because its genesis is eternal. It is our God-given right to realize this beautiful, creative Love that cannot betray its lover.

As we realize that all things come to us for the sake of freeing us to love more deeply the Love that would liberate us, true faith grows. Little by little we come to see that there is nothing that takes place in life, including whatever is "ugly" within it, that isn't part of preparing us to transcend -- to outgrow -- ourselves.

There is an order between power, principle, and practice. Before we can have relationship with power -- Peace, Beauty, Kindness, Love -- we must first become an embodiment of principle. And in order to become an embodiment of principle, we must practice it. The only way for us to know there is a world above us that would perfect us is if we will put ourselves in relationship with its powers through practicing them.

There is an integration that takes place when we practice what we love. As we work to embody these higher powers in our life, we are united with them. A marriage takes place within us that lessens the distance between that power and our purpose to be one with it. Surrendering self is how we end the separation between ourselves and that all-powerful Love for which we long. Only to the degree that we perfect our love in God do we come to realize oneness, and only God can perfect our love in Him.

Each moment of the day, no matter what comes your way, let what you remember as being true about Love always be your guide. Never let darkness, dismay -- any of the things that attend the mind -- be your guide. If you are sincere in your wish, and willing to work with practice to embrace principle, to discover what is necessary to put you in relationship -- in alignment with a higher order -- you will enter into God's life, which is the one life.

Practice this oneness. Anyone can do it. You don't need strength. You don't need wisdom. You don't need anything except for the wish to be a part of that Greater Life to which you have been called.

This article is excerpted from Seven Steps to Oneness.

Mind Power Techniques - Subjective Communication

Subjective Communication: How to Connect With Another Person\'s Mind

Author:

iain legg

This to me is one of the most miraculous aspects of alpha mind-technology. It has been known for a long time under the heading of mental telepathy but it wasn\'t until Jose Silva started seriously experimenting with it that its possibilities and limitations were identified.




In the early days before he had developed the Silva Mind Course he was using light hypnosis to try and help his children raise their grades at school. When he was giving them homework lessons he often noticed that they would answer a question before he had fully asked it. He had not given them enough information to answer the question but they answered it anyway. He figured that this was some sort of direct mind-to-mind communication.




In reality Subjective Communication is extremely easy and you do not have to have any experience whatsoever in alpha techniques, but it will help if you do. The reason for this is that Subjective Communication is usually done in the small hours of the morning for reasons explained later and unless you\'ve had alpha training you tend to drop off to sleep halfway through your program.




If you have a genuine need then by using Subjective Communication you will be able to contact the right people to assist you in achieving your goal, simply by utilizing the knowledge you are about to read.




Basically Subjective Communication gently encourages a remote person or group of people to do things your way in a mutual win-win manner. However it will not work if you are not genuine about that which you want. If for example you are a salesperson and you are trying to push a product that you do not believe in, then it is very likely that your subconscious doubts will transfer to the other person or people.




The impact of one focused human mind upon another can be quite enormous so when you are doing subjective communication make sure to keep your messages positive and mutually beneficial to both parties.





Now as soon as possible contact that person in real life and run your problem past them. You will probably be pleasantly surprised to find that you receive a very cordial reception and things go the way you want. . Communicate with the person concerned and explain that life would be a lot better for both of you if he or she changed their attitude. See them agreeing. And if they don\'t modify their behavior visualize them being very uncomfortable or very unsettled whenever they think of you. This tends to get through to them subconsciously and they may feel inclined to leave you alone.




That is left-brain material. If you do, you will probably break the 'neural connection'. Merely project win/win concepts. You must treat the 'receiver' as your equal.....do not criticize in any way.....Merely offer mutually beneficial suggestions, which you clearly visualize the 'receiving party' agreeing with.




You can easily use it to project healing; loving thoughts to a person you really care about. You will be amazed at the effect it has on them! Treat Subjective Communication with the respect it deserves and treat other people as you would want to be treated yourself! Then you can use this most magical of mental powers to help yourself and others!

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/nlp-hypnosis-articles/subjective-communication-how-to-connect-with-another-persons-mind-338049.html

About the Author

To learn more about subjective communication, sign up to our very special 3 part ecourse at subjective communication - you\'ll also learn how to program your dreams and find your purpose in life.

Neville Goddard 1955 Mental Diets 2 of 2

I'd like to share some of what I feel is vital information for our awakening. Each time I listen to this I am transformed and you will be too - trust me. I encourage you to keep an open mind while reading, then during your practice. Please let me know of your results. I'll be sharing mine soon!

The Spiritual Mastery of Money

Poverty, the cruelest of demons, deprives a person of every joy in this life master!
When we avoid talking about money, we are cheating ourselves. Our unwillingness to talk through our money fears has its costs. Money can be a hot, tricky topic, as intimate as talking about sex. There is much to be gained by breaking the money taboo and exploring your beliefs about money. What you think you need and what you truly need are often very different things. Most people have been conditioned to associate making money with struggle and pain, and thus they have come to believe that they can only earn money by doing things that they don't want to do. Financial struggle is effort laced with negative emotions. Financial struggle is a programmed response. A money struggler creates a life-style that is fragmented, which makes everything that he/she does to earn money into a painful grind. (Thanks Hu Dalconzo)

New Year, New You!

3 Easy Steps to Get Rid of Negative Self-Talk (thanks to John Hersey, CSP)

As we all know, not only crazy people talk to themselves. We all spend the whole day talking to ourselves, even if we don’t realize it. Self-talk is like having a radio in our heads. We hear it wherever we are, and more often than desired, this voice is a non-stop reminder of how unlucky, bad, or silly we are. This character in our heads is an expert in getting us down through pessimism and criticism. This voice can make us feel worthless and can leave us without control over our lives. It can convince you to not go for that one chance with that girl or boy, not to apply for your dream job, or not bother to make that positive change your life needs so much. Our inner critic feeds on the fear and the doubt it produces in us, but it is up to us to let it take control. We can easily control the radio in our heads to play the stations that work for us instead of against us. There is a way to change the station to a more positive one every time the negative tries to take control. Follow these 3 simple steps, and turn the voice in your head into your biggest admirer:

1. First, be aware of that negative voice talking to you and what it is saying. Observe the self-talk inside your head, truly listen to it; commonly we don’t pay attention to our thoughts, they just come and go automatically, and equally control our lives. You must gain awareness of what that voice is saying. Is it saying the same thing over and over again? How is it making you feel? Most of us don’t focus consciously on what our inner voice is saying; we simply accept its judgment as the truth, and this is where many of us get stuck, sometimes for our whole lives. Negative self-talk is, in most cases, only trying to deceive us with feelings of fear and doubt. What it says is not true. Learn to recognize who truly is in control of your life.

2. Second, assess your inner voice. Learn to recognize the forms it takes: maybe it gets nervous, mad, or frightened? Maybe there is a hint of a positive voice trying to gain strength over the negative one; if there is, you should be proud. Try to focus and listen to that background positive chat more and more every time you hear it. With practice, you will eventually hear it all the time. The most important thing is that you are aware that your inner critic is just a habit of your mind and that you can easily change the station to listen to a different tune, one that makes you feel good, energized, and proud about yourself and your life.

3. Now, after consciously recognizing, listening, and evaluating your inner critic, you can start replacing negative talk with positive one. Give the good talk space to speak, and encourage it through positive affirmations, until you feel the change inside yourself. Affirmations are very powerful; these energize you and prompt you to act positively. If you feel resistance, try this: As soon as you identify the negative talk nagging you with something like “I can’t do anything right”, instantly change that into a positive affirmation, like “Everything I do turns out right”. This is a very powerful exercise because it allows you to assess how each statement makes you feel, and you will want to continue giving yourself bigger doses of positive talk every time.

Committments

I found a fabulous quote for you today:

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back,always ineffectiveness concerning all acts of initiative and creation.There is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans; that the moment one definitely commits oneself,then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen events, meetings and material assistance which no one could have dreamed would have come their way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets: "Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now!"" ~ W.H. Murray

Some Thoughts about Love

If you think that love is what you want, you will go searching for it all over the place. If you think love is what you are, you will go sharing it all over the place. The second approach will cause you to find what the searching will never reveal.

Yet you cannot give love in order to get it. Doing that is as much as saying you do not now have it. And that statement will, of course, be your reality. No, you must give love because you have it to give. In this will you experience your own possession of it.

Thanks to Neale Donald Walsch

Truly profound. ……....something to think about...Washington DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes.
During that time approx 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.
After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.
4 minutes later:the violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the till and, without stopping, continued to walk.
6 minutes:A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.10 minutes:A 3 year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly, as the kid stopped to look at the violinist.. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced them to move on.
45 minutes:The musician played. Only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace.He collected $32.
1 hour:He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.This is a real story.
Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities. The questions raised: in a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be:If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ...How many other things are we missing?

Our Beliefs Create Our Reality

Beliefs create our reality. If you don’t believe that to be true, your beliefs will create evidence for you to validate that you are right - making the first statement true that beliefs create our reality.
Beliefs filter our perception of reality within the infinite possibilities of pure awareness, leaving us with the evidence for whatever we decide to believe – as long as we believe it absolutely and have no conflicting beliefs (doubts).
People often have many different beliefs about a subject and this is why they experience a little of this and a little of that. Having beliefs that are in conflict is the source of stress and struggle and mis-alignment with one’s self. Many people think that they can shift deeply held beliefs by “thought replacement” or “positive thinking”. In the long run this is an act of futility, a strategy that is guaranteed to fail in the end because thoughts are generated by identities which are deeply held beliefs that exist as contracted, energetic structures in the body/mind. Consciousness, in this regard, is much like the structure of an iceberg where only a small portion is revealed on the surface.
When beliefs have enough importance in them, enough judgment, a person begins to identify with them as their sense of self – their sense of identity.
Identities are often not created deliberately and are “default programs” that run our lives when we do not. These identity selves are often reactive and some are downright nasty and some are sick, and some are victims, etc., etc.
Being able to identify and manage one’s beliefs and therefore their identity is the most powerful ability a person can have, and yet currently this is one of the least understood skills for humanity. As we move into the “Age Of Consciousness” this will quickly change and the right and wrong game humanity is currently compelled to play will unwind and an enlightened civilization will unfold on Earth.
Take a moment to Contemplate these ideas:

What beliefs do you have that are empowering?
What beliefs do you have that are limiting?
Do you suspect there are some self-sabotaging beliefs that you hold that you are not conscious of?
Would you like to have a highly effective strategy to manage your consciousness?! Sign up for my free online coaching at cbarthol@hotmail.com

How To Love Yourself

Louise Hay offers these helpful suggestions.Try them! They really work.

1. Stop all criticism: Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.
2. Don't scare yourself: Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.
3. Be gentle and kind and patient: Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.
4. Be kind to your mind: Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change the thoughts.
5. Praise yourself: Criticism breaks the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.
6. Support yourself: Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends, and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.
7. Be loving to your negatives: Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So. lovingly release the old negative patterns.
8. Take care of your body: Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.
9. Mirror work: Look into your own eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say: "I love you, I really love you!"
10. LOVE YOURSELF - DO IT NOW! Don't wait until you get well or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin NOW - do the best you can.

Corrine

Mothers and Daughters

What's the deal with me and my Mom? Here's what my therapist opines: "Your guilty feelings stem from your ambiguous relationship with your mother?" Huh? Our relationship is hardly ambiguous - I love her and I hate her. Ok, ok, I guess that's what "ambiguous" means but the the way he said it made it feel like this is not normal! Well it's normal to me. It didn't used to bother me (I thought) until my own foray into motherhood - particularly when my daughter became a teenager - became a really dark place.

I think my approach to raising a teen might be labeled as anarchic. I pretty much let her do what she wants. She's always been a very independent child and I saw no reason to curb that side of her nature once she was old enough to begin the process of self-definition. It was not always this way.

When she turned 13, my daughter began to assert her new-found sense of independence in most dramatic ways: coming home late from school, staying out past curfew, in every way doing exactly the opposite of what I requested of her; in other words, rebelling. This caused me endless frustration and kept happening over and over. By the time she was 14 I was seriously ready to kill her or myself! Looking back, she did tell me to "lighten up" and "give her space" - very clearly expressing her needs. So what did I do? Exactly the opposite: calling her mobile every hour to check on her; giving her a curfew that was not appropriate to her age; checking out her friends like I was the FBI and well, just about everything else a scared, needy, over-bearing, insecure mother could do. Needless to say, this went down about as well as liquid cod liver oil.

Thankfully however, my inner guides stepped in, made me focus on me and showed me what and where I need to heal in order to stop creating so much turmoil in both of our lives.

So what does all this have to do with my own uncomfortable relationship with my mother? Guess what names I (inwardly, of course) call her? Scared, needy, over-bearing and insecure! Quell surprise, right? You gotta know that "if you spot it, you got it!" That's right. The reason I could spot it so easily in MY mom, was because she was playing the role of MY mirror. The universe - in it's infinite wisdom - was simply reflecting back to me, well, ME. This was what I was shown by my guides. Once I did the work of forgiveness necessary to heal the error in my thinking that led to these negative behaviors, my daughter's behavior totally changed. Actually I'm not sure how much her behavior actually changed as much as my perspective on her behavior. It was like little miracles were sent every day to help us forge a much clearer, smoother path.

So now when my Mom calls (and take note, she calls often!) and gets that unmistakeable note of censure in her tone when we begin to discuss my daughter, I now, instead of getting pissed off, thank my angels because I know that hidden in any negative emotional response is a holy message that says hey, you still have some inner work to do girlfriend!

The Christ Within

My 16yr. old daughter has a habit of coming home way way late from her nights out. This used to freak me out to no end. I felt out of control, frightened, disrespected and would become nearly unhinged with worry. When it kept happening over and over, I realized there must be some healing message being shown me that I wasn't seeing. I asked for vision, I asked and I received.



Our lives are the reflections of our thoughts. When I looked in the mirror of my life, I saw so much old hurts and unforgiveness; all - or mostly all - directed towards me. I was not practicing what I was preaching which was unity and the oneness of humanity. Therefore, if I saw mistakes in my daughter humility demands that I first had to have seen them in me. In fact, that's the only place they resided. She became my teacher because most of my projections were directed to her.



All of the so-called negative experiences I partook of in my teen years were being karmically burned off and shown to me. After all, as you sow so you shall reap. Not punishment for sure, but universal law in action. I had never taken the time to forgive myself for my mistakes and yet I was quick to pounce on my girl for hers. Trying in some twisted retroactive way to "atone" for my own perceived sins.



Yet, isn't that what Jesus came to do for me? To atone for everything past, present and future where I may have missed the mark? Because that's what "sin" actually is - missing the mark. So who was I to be feeling this charge of guilt and bearing witness to it's presence by taking it out on her? Like a confused actor, I was playing the wrong role!



It took prayer, meditation and listening to my guides to get holy perspective on this situation. If I took the path of the "wronged" parent and yelled and screamed and punished, I would in essence be yelling, screaming and punishing myself. More guilt. But, knowing now that I asked for this child before my current incarnation on earth, I had to make the choice of using experiences with her to either heal or destroy. I chose to heal.



If Christ dwells within me, and if I proclaim to be one with Him, how then could I possibly NOT see the Christ in her? This is awakening to truth. And would I yell, scream and punish the Christ? The crucifiction has already taken place....I'll not journey to the cross again. What I will do, is trust that universe is all good, that there is no evil, that all is perfection and most importantly that these truths have indeed set me free.



Tata!

Patterns in my life tied to beliefs

I notice I immediately get tense whenever certain of my children's friends come over. Actually I get this feeling when most anyone is in my 'space'. It's a feeling of being invaded, put upon, taken advantage of. This makes no sense in reality because they're actually pretty cool kids and thankfully, I'm aware and awake enough to realize it's not them, it's ME.

I feel like they're going to take something from me, whether it be peace or peace of mind, my personal resources like food, money, etc. They will make things scarce and hard for me and mine. I will then "not have enough" for my and my family's needs. I will be imposed upon to go back to the grocery, drug store, wherever, to get more. I will be inconvenienced.

My friends, this is egoic, self-preservational (is this a word?) fear-based nonsense. I know it, I teach it for goodness sakes!, and yet I still feel the power of the emotional response tied to this as yet unknown and unnamed belief (I'll explore this later). Maybe at one time in my life it did serve me but not anymore. First off, I'm quite well off and there's nothing these two kids could ask me for that I couldn't immediately replace. And addressing the second "feeling" of being inconvenienced and having to go shopping to replace whatever, it's not like time is scarce for me. I work at the office three days a week; the rest I'm home pissing about. Why then this gut reaction?

I am SO tempted to psycho-analyze here. Yes, I've been to therapy and once you do that you can quickly get in the (bad) habit of becoming your own psychiatrist. Just remember, you can't solve your problems using the same mind that created them! Ok? Let's start with some facts of my life's experience that even my therapist agrees are linked to how I feel today:

1) I was sexually abused from the age of 6 until the age of 8; and I'm talking the whole nine yards including the abuser at times bringing his friend over to take part; (my face is getting hot and my whole head feels stuffed - will now pause to do some EFT)

ok, I'm back

2) hm.

You know what? There is no "2." Everything other "fact" I could write about seems to be based on and stem from "1.). How then does this experience that happened at least 37 years ago still cause me to act with resentment against anyone who I feel is imposing on me? Next time I'll explore how awakening and awareness helped me reach this level of comfort in confronting my own inner "demons." Still have a way to go but actually I now enjoy the journey.

Tata!